Hot Garbage and Growlers

The last week has been unusually warm, even for the Nashville area. We had our heat on for a week and by yesterday, had the A/C on again. Completely bizarre. I don't know whether I should wear the grody sweatpants or the grodier gym shorts on the weekends. The disintegrating leopard print fuzzy slippers or the once white now brown flip flops? The disgusting hooded sweatshirt from college that may or may not have soy sauce embedded in the pull strings or the t shirt I painted my old office in that has "armpit ventilation"? I keep it classy folks.
The worst is warm temps and various raw meat packaging. You know where I'm going with this. I arrived home from work on Friday to a smell that fell somewhere in the range of Korean Kimchi (if you don't know what that is, google it. It involves fermentation so enough said) and a toddler's diaper after broccoli and pureed beef. Needless to say it was heinous. I had to say a short prayer and hold my breath as I carried a reeking sack of whatnot to the garage. I had spent several of the previous evenings cooking chicken breasts, tuna fillets, and tilapia. Ouch right? NORMALLY I am keen to the fact that you need to take any trash that involved raw chicken out right away because it stinks to high heaven. Right. HOWEVER, the last time I hit up Wally World I had a coupon for some fancy shmancy trash bags featuring odor blocking technology. As the label read, tough smells are blocked by the blah blah blah feature of the bag, thus you are less wasteful by throwing out half full bags. And I fell for it.

Dear Hefty,
Perhaps it is because the test audience you use eats only canned fruit and frozen waffles. Perhaps your scientists have olfactory tumors that prevent hideous scents from reaching the brain. You label plainly states "neutralizes garbage odors." Have you all ever cleaned your own homes? Ever had the pleasure of walking in to front door to a smell so strong you wonder if a member of the family expired somewhere? I think it would be best you put the fifteen dollars you charge per box of your completely worthless product toward charity and turn those bags into hair covers for our for our purple haired seniors. Because that's about all they're good for. Peddle that stupid "Hefty Hefty Hefty, wimpy, wimpy, wimpy" bologna elsewhere.
Nauseated and slightly miffed,

Kara Phillip
Nashville, TN

Before I step down off my trash bag soap box, let us all remember one thing. Don't buy fancy trash bags just because they tell you they're fancy. Take the trash out when you cook chicken or fish. That concludes this lesson. I am available for questions and/or testimonials at kara@heftysucksmyleftbigtoe.com
You'll be pleased to know, that the smell, while eliminated from our immediate dwelling is now permeating through our garage. My car smelled like someone vomited in my back seat this morning. *sigh. Well you win some and you lose some.

After that fun Friday adventure, Matt and I drove down to Huntsville, AL. We drove nearly 2 hours away for...wait for it...beer. That's right, beer. Previously, Matt wrote a post on his favorite beers and why you should drink them. Coming in 2nd on said list is The Good People Brewing Company out of Birmingham. He sheepishly (are you kidding, proudly!) admitted that he planned on driving down there as this delicious brew is only sold in AL. Well, this was actually trip #2. This is the second (my first) time my husband has traveled many long miles for a tasty brew. Oddly enough, Good People do not bottle their tasty concoctions yet. Kegs are sold to beer outlets in AL. In order for customers to purchase the beer, you must buy them in Growlers.

This is an odd name for what it actually is, a emptied 1/2 gallon milk carton. Yep, we bought two half gallons of beer sealed up in milk cartons. The surgeon general warning with regards to alcohol had to be taped on. Again, we keep it classy. We are bringing our joy juice to Thanksgiving in Green Lake, WI for other members of the Phillip clan to try. I'll let you know how it goes.
While we lift our Growlers in thanks for all we're blessed with, Hefty Odor Block bags did not make the list.

Kara